Everyday with Jakie

Motherhood has a way of humbling you in ways no one really prepares you for.

I had ideas of how things would go — how I’d feed my baby, how I’d show up as a mom, and what “doing it right” would look like. But some of those plans didn’t unfold the way I expected, especially when it came to breastfeeding.

My son Rowan was born with a tongue tie and a lip tie which made it difficult for him to latch properly, so I had to pump and bottle feed until we were able to get it resolved. We had to go to a pediatric dentist so they could cut the ties with a laser, but they wouldn’t to the procedure until he was 2 weeks old as that’s when a baby’s clotting factors begins to work properly.

I bought bottles that were “like the nipple” so we could try again after we fixed the tongue tie and lip tie, but by the time we were able to get the ties cut Rowan was so used to the flow and ease of the bottles he didn’t want the breast. I was devastated to say the least and felt like a complete failure. Everyone always says “breast is best” and “mothers are meant to feed their babies” and I couldn’t. I continued pumping and bottle fed Rowan until my milk supply decreased and ultimately stopped at around 3 months so we had to switch to formula.

Not being able to breastfeed was something I quietly struggled with. It wasn’t just about feeding — it was about the expectations I had placed on myself and the guilt that followed when things didn’t work out the way I hoped.

For a long time, it felt like a personal failure, even though I now know it wasn’t. What I’ve learned is this: feeding your baby looks different for everyone, and love is not measured in ounces or methods.

At the same time, motherhood has also given me moments I never imagined. Everyday with Jakie exists because I want to share both sides — the struggles and the wins. The messy moments, the joyful milestones, and the products and routines that helped us along the way.

If you’re here and your journey doesn’t look like what you imagined, please know this: you are not failing. You’re doing the best you can, and that is more than enough 🤍

Products we used during this journey:

*NUK Smooth Flow Anti Colic Baby Bottle– Nipple mimics the shape of mom’s and these have less parts compared to others which made them easy to clean

*Aquaphor Healing Ointment– cheaper than nipple cream/butter and worked the same, also used this as Rowan’s diaper cream and post circumcision ointment

*Kendamil Classic Infant Formula- per my brother and his wife this was the go to formula to help baby transition and it worked great for us! I hear lots of families say their babies struggled with constipation or other stomach issues when they transitioned and thanks to their recommendation we never had any issues with Rowan